Don’t lose the path for the hill
Our perspective determines what and how we see things.
Often, I work with women who are expecting their first babies. Their excitement about their upcoming labour is infectious. Really beautiful. I compare them to a cyclist approaching a steep hill. It’s big. It’s daunting. It’s all they can see.
In cases when a woman is still pregnant past her due date (and increasingly anxious and nervous in response to words like induction and C-Section) her innocent hopefulness can actually increase her anxiety. If someone is attached to a vision of how her labour must go, the possibility of having to detour from that imagined path can be incredibly difficult. At those times I reassure her, “no matter how your baby is born, as long as you and your baby are healthy, you will be delighted”. Most women understand that already; but if the woman is holding tightly to her original birth plan, it doesn’t bring much comfort.
What some don’t understand (fully) is that labour is a day or two of their lives. The big deal is the rest of their lives as parents!!!
I am not suggesting that women should not do everything in their power to have a natural birth. It is my work to help that to happen. It is also my work to help women accept what is not in their power and invite a new perspective.
Patients have described a type of blindness. “I just couldn’t see past the labour” one women explained to me postpartum. “I had hardly considered parenting. I was just consumed with the labour”.
So after the rise to the top of the hill (however that happens), a whole new world reveals itself. It’s a road with numerous ups and downs, twists and turns. But, ah, what a road it is!
